Which of these do you do more? Correcting your spouse? Encouraging your spouse? Or neither?
2nd Timothy 3:16 states, "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness."
Philipians 2:1,2 state," If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my job by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind."
You are in good shape if the Bible corrects and encourages you before you correct and encourage your spouse. It's like living through God towards your spouse, instead of the other way around. If you are being corrected first by God then you will ask for forgiveness when you hurt her. You will also encourage her on the days when she doesn't deserve it!