"In all their affliction, He was afflicted." Isaiah 63:9
How do you help your spouse after you have hurt her? It's not by avoiding or "not talking about it." God was not detached from Israel when she sinned against Him. For God to experience affliction when Israel was afflicted means that even though he knew Israel's future plans (i.e. to prosper her), He was still hurt by her in the present.
Let's say you hurt your spouse and then detach from her. What might influence you to detach? Shame? Fear of triggering her? Let your covenant with her be more influential in how you treat her than your emotions.
When you detach from your spouse, you are no longer being like God. It makes sense that God was afflicted in all Israel's affliction; He was still with her. To be with somebody means you are happy when she is happy, sad when she is sad, and grieved when she sins. Love in the midst of hurt is still being with her.
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1st Corinthians 13:7
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